


Sweetness

by 3levetoi



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin’s Magic (Merlin), Community: merlinxarthur, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Merthur - Freeform, Porn With Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:27:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3levetoi/pseuds/3levetoi
Summary: While preparing to find a suitable bride, Arthur discovers his feelings for Merlin run a bit deeper than what is considered usual.Uther discovers that his son has been spending far too much time with his manservant, and decides to put a stop to it.If only he knew the truth.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 422





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally written for wattpad, which is why the formatting is strange.

Arthur couldn't sleep. His mind was buzzing, worried about the great feast of Samhain set to take place tomorrow evening.  
It was no use. He'd spent many sleepless nights simply staring at the canopy that stretched over his bedposts. For some reason, tonight it had been worse.  
Arthur swung his legs over the side of the bed, feet touching the ground. Maybe a snack would calm his nerves. He was dressed in his sleeping clothes but it didn't matter. Arthur just needed to get out of bed.

There was not a sound in all of the castle. It must've been the dead of night. He realized upon arriving to the kitchen that it was unlikely that the cook was working.  
Arthur had never really learned how to prepare anything but he looked around anyways.

"Arthur?"

His head spun.  
Merlin stood in the doorway with a satchel hung over his shoulder.

"Merlin? What are you doing awake?"

"Oh I just decided to help with preparations for tomorrow... I couldn't sleep"

They looked at each other for a moment. Merlin, too, was wearing his sleeping clothes. There was a shared familiarity, perhaps even a feeling of nakedness among them.

"...d'you want me to make you something?" Merlin offered eventually.

Arthur nodded.

Merlin grabbed a pan, some grease, and a few other things.  
"I hope you like french toast."

"I've never had it."

"Well that is a national shame right there," Merlin joked "the crown has officially failed you."

Arthur smirked.

"Where did you learn to make this?"

"Toast? It's hardly a family secret," Merlin looked at Arthur, "you just paint the egg on the bread and add sugar and spice. See?" He smiled.  
"Obviously you have better ingredients than I do, so I've been perfecting the recipe."

Merlin handed Arthur the piece he'd just finished cooking.

"Do you mean to tell me that you've been creeping into my kitchen at all hours of the night to make bread?"

"Yes. Try it"

Arthur did. He was pleasantly surprised. "I can see why."

They sat there in the kitchen, which Arthur had never done before, in the haze of the morning, and ate and enjoyed each other's company.

In this hour, Arthur had forgotten his nerves, and found a rare fondness for Merlin. He had been in Camelot's service for some months now, but he had always felt a stronger bond in him than what was supposed to be a very official relationship.

They were laughing and making jokes at each other's expense, (more so than usual,) because now there was no pressure to perform. They could be their fundamental, impulsive selves because every one who would have told them to do differently was simply not watching.  
There was a mutual (and metaphorical) nakedness that they shared. In this moment, both men were their unregulated and unapologetic selves.

And it was exhilarating.

He had been feeling it for weeks. Not only the arrival of Samhain, but the blood moon that coincidentally was supposed to take place on the same evening.  
Merlin's magic had grown increasingly aware of the approaching moon and his senses, he realized, had heightened tremendously.  
His magic had seemingly begun flowing around him and it was getting hard to keep under control.  
In the last few days he had heard every whisper and felt every breath of air. In some ways it was relaxing.

In some ways it definitely _wasn't_.

Merlin had also began to feel a sort of buzz when someone had so much as looked at him.

Or he had, at least, when Arthur looked at him.

After he sent the prince to bed with a full belly, he left the onions to chop themselves.

He had never felt for anyone what he felt for Arthur; true but silenced friendship.

Merlin remained happy with the intimate encounter he just had with Arthur. Infact, he felt as though a warm pit had been planted in his stomach and it glowed when he thought back upon it.

He knew why Arthur was nervous for tomorrow. Merlin had heard rumors that the beautiful and intelligent Lady Madelena and her father, Lord Heron, were celebrating Samhain in Camelot. He could only assume the reason for this was some sort of secret courtship between Arthur and the Lady.

A part of Merlin was saddened at the thought of Arthur becoming betrothed. He knew that the small part of Arthur that was still curious and childlike would dissolve into something far more serious.

In fact, one could say that Merlin _dreaded_ the day that Arthur would no longer be capable of joking with him.

Merlin would miss him when Arthur had no other choice but to grow up.

In the remaining hours that Arthur was allotted before morning, he slept like the dead.  
He awoke gently, and happily admired the sun shining through. His mind jumped back to the pleasantness of Merlin of all people, and the night before.

There were only a few glorious moments before there was a tapping on his door. Arthur instinctually pretended to be asleep.

"M'Lord, it is time to start your day."

Arthur exaggeratedly opened his eyes and was then confused at what he saw.

A mousy blond boy stood in the doorway with a tray.

"Where's Merlin?"

"I believe he's helping to cook the feast in the kitchen."

The look of confusion on the prince's face subsided and then promptly returned when the boy added, "although he made this and requested that it was taken to you for your breakfast."

The boy set the tray down on the old wooden table a few feet from the bed. On it was a small bowl of porridge as well as fresh strawberries and a few slices if bread.

Arthur got up to inspect it and smiled. It was the same he had a few hours ago. Merlin had called it "French Toast."

Last night's memories had felt like a dream but this proved that they were all real.

"Thank you, that will be all."

The blond boy bowed his head and left without a word.

Arthur scarfed down his breakfast and started his day.  
It had been a while since he had been allowed to pick out his own outfit, since Merlin was always entrusted to do the job. He had almost forgotten what it was like to dress himself.

He stood there for a moment, trying to decide.

 _I'll just change later_ he thought, and threw on a casual outfit.

All training had been cancelled for Samhain, for this was a day of rest and celebration.

Arthur decided to aid in the preparation of festivities. He liked to feel the buzz of the morning.

He had almost forgotten about the arrival of his guest.

After the great feast, the servants pushed the tables back and the music grew louder.  
All of the nobles were dancing perhaps a bit more drunkenly than was intended, but this was, after all, the most joyous occasion of the year.

It seemed as though half the kingdom was celebrating in the royal banquet hall.  
A rainbow of gowns and linens swirled the courtroom and the people who occupied them were just as merry.

Even some of the servants were dancing about. No doubt that few people of any note were watching much less cared in their drunken stupor.

Even Uther could be seen laughing and enjoying himself from his throne. This was surely a rare sight.

Prince Arthur and Lady Madelena were among those happily dancing. Madelena had a twinge of red pinching her cheeks from the drink and excitement.

Arthur on the other hand, was too focused on getting the steps right.

Merlin was watching from the corner, bobbing his head and watching the festivities. Earlier, he was confused when Arthur had refused more than two glasses of wine, but he knew now that it was probably because he wanted to impress Lady Madelena with his dancing skills, or lack there of.

At one moment Arthur's eyes caught Merlin's from across the crowd and both faces changed. They laughed from their respectful positions in the room.

They laughed as if to say in their own baffled amusement, 'how on Earth did we get here?'

Merlin continued to catch glimpses of his friend's face as Arthur spun and bounced with the merry music, always smiling.  
Merlin raised his eyebrows as if to say  
'I didn't know that you knew how to dance.'

Arthur saw this and did what he could to shrug, still smiling. Then, his attention returned to the lady he was supposed to be leading and all stiffness had seemed to fade.

Merlin stood awkwardly, having no one to joke with or make fun of.

Eventually, Guinevere excitedly popped out of the crowd, grabbed Merlin's sleeve, and attempted to drag him into the grand elation. She tried to say something to him, but he could not hear past the music.

He tried to pull back.  
She glared at him jokingly and screamed, "dance with me!"

He still had not heard her but he read her lips, understood, and not had enough time to forge an answer before he was swept up in the sheer jolly madness taking place at the King's feet.

The music, unceasing, had seemed to grow louder and more wild. Merlin was now at the heart of it.

The whole situation had made him vaguely uncomfortable. If he stood still, he got poked and jabbed by those dancing near him. Merlin decided to shed his pride and uncertainty and danced.  
Guinevere held his hand and they twisted and twirled and laughed.

Dancing and bustling gets tired, but the intoxicated radiance of the crowd and the band fueled even the most ragged if dogs.

Merlin looked up.

Arthur smiled at him. It was one of those exhilarated and impossibly happy grins that he had not been known for. The sight of his friend this elated, and the fact that he got to share this moment with him made Merlin's face go red.

After what seemed to be hours the music grew soft. The crowd cheered and resumed to dance.

However, this was more intimate.

It had low, walking rhythms, and it's purpose was to draw one in much nearer.  
Gwen kept a respectful distance from Merlin's skinny frame, yet was as appropriately close as the song demanded.

This was perhaps considerably closer than Merlin would have liked.

Gwen looked at him.

He loved Guinevere as platonically as one could, but he feared that she loved him more.

Merlin let her dance close.

He felt a buzzing.


	2. Chapter 2

The music's rhythm swung low, and Merlin felt a buzzing.

Not like an annoying little fly kind of buzzing. It was a warm tingly buzz, that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

It was stronger than anything he'd felt before.

He looked up, and just as he did he was met by striking blue eyes a few feet away.  
Arthur diverted his gaze, but Merlin had nonetheless spotted him looking.

Merlin found it difficult to keep sight of him with everyone in room swaying.

The buzzing had weakened but was still evident.

He could still make Arthur and the lady out between several waving heads.

He held Madelena tightly.

Merlin watched.

There was a thrill that shot down his back, like someone had run lusty fingertips down his spine and across his body.  
He unknowingly gasped.

Merlin looked up, yet again.

Arthur swayed gently with the Lady. He kissed Madelena's forehead and looked up at Merlin with a somber gaze.

It was the same look on Arthur's face when Merlin had tried to send him to bed the night previous. A sort of lingering. A question un-asked and subsequently unanswered.

Over the course of nearly a year, Merlin had gotten to know much about Arthur. He had thought he knew everything. But in these last few days, he wasn't so sure.  
Arthur was persistent, strong, and complicated. Merlin knew this; but he never thought if him as wavering.

Now, Arthur seemed conflicted. He kissed Madelena and looked carefully at Merlin.  
This was all so confusing to him.

_What was he trying to say?_

Merlin watched the lady snake her slender arms around his neck and lean up to plant a kiss on his mouth. Her back towards Merlin.

At any other occasion, this would not have been permitted, such affection in the King's banquet hall.

Merlin watched intently.

_Arthur was enjoying it._

The two deepened the kiss. Arthur bent down slightly to reach her better.

Merlin briefly lost sight of them through the crowd. The music must've stopped. That was the last thing on his mind in this instant.

In the midst of a long passionate kiss, Arthur's eyes defiantly snaked back up to meet Merlin's.

There was that buzz again. Except it was much hotter this time. It felt like cool fire that shivered through his body with every second that their gaze lingered.

Merlin felt other parts of him come alive too.

_What is this? What is happening?_

_Why is he doing this?_

_And why do I like it?_

After all the guests had lazily left, and everything had been cleared and washed, Merlin was walking Guinevere home, arm in arm.

He could feel his magic flowing around him. An energy that pulsed when he felt radiant as he did in this moment.

They strolled down a royal hall when they heard someone yelling. A few steps away, Arthur's chamber door opened and Lady Madelena ran out, half dressed and angry.

Gwen and Merlin exchanged confused glances, then without another breath, Gwen ran after the lady to comfort her.

Merlin, in turn went into the room. Arthur sat on his bed, shirtless, pants laced properly, and his head in his hands.

"What the hell happened?" Merlin nearly shouted.

Arthur said nothing.

"You can't just get a woman drunk and come on to her!"

Arthur looked shocked.

"Come on to her?! If anything she came on to me!"

"What?"

"I thought we were having a nice chat and then out of nowhere she was unbuttoning her dress! She wanted me to have her right then and there."

Merlin stood there for a second, puzzled.

"Why didn't you? Aren't you betrothed?"

"Betrothed! Gods, no. Not yet at least. She was drunk. Whose to say she's the one I marry anyways? Even if she is, I don't want to just leap into bed with her..."

Merlin paused.

"I don't know of any man who would not have jumped for that offer... save you I suppose. I always knew you were strange." A smile spread across Merlin's face as he bent down to sit next to the prince.

Arthur smiled sadly, gazing down at his hands.

"You know... most princes don't even get a choice of who they marry. You should count yourself lucky." Merlin offered.

"Not lucky enough..." Arthur brooded like a sad puppy. However this was clearly not an act. Arthur was truly hurting.

And Merlin felt it.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Merlin felt that burning again.

He looked up at Arthur.

Arthur looked up at him.

They looked upon each others faces for what seemed like ages.

Finally, Arthur curled his fingers around the nape of Merlins neck but did not pull him in. Instead, Arthur bent forward to press his own lips to Merlin's. It was hungry but gentle. His magic pulsed against his body. Arthur kissed him deeply.

There was an aching.

A part of Merlin had been longing for this for a very long time.

Arthur pulled away, and studied his face.

He saw that Merlin's face held some sort of shock and questioning.

"Oh gods...." Arthur shrunk away, "I'm drunk."

Merlin first thought that Arthur was taking advantage of him in seeking solace, but then he remembered refusing Madelena.

He also remembered Arthur having only two cups of wine which were some hours ago.

"...you're not that drunk." Merlin whispered with Arthur's hand still hanging on his neck.

Merlin slowly inched himself closer to Arthur, giving him plenty of time to refuse.

It felt right.

Merlin's face lingered over Arthur's for a second. He watched Arthur's face turn red with wanting, and felt his heavy breath.

Merlin looked him in the eyes. He felt every second of Arthur's lustful gaze. He saw how stunning Arthur looked this way, and how Merlin wanted to see him like this more often. He looked to his lips and saw just how long he's been wondering what they taste of.

Merlin caressed Arthur's cheek with his hand. He felt the insistent warmth which was either caused by nerves or magic or some combination of the two.  
Either way the touch of his hand was electrifying and Arthur felt hot before Merlin even got to kiss him.

Merlin smiled at his excitement, and brought their lips together.

In this moment, their relationship was rewritten. There were no servants or lords, just mutual unbounded love.

Merlin awkwardly bit Arthur's lip, causing a gentle laugh.

They were happy.

Finally, Merlin realized why Arthur was so hesitant to pick a bride.  
It was because he was waiting.

Merlin snaked his hand down and graced Arthur's bare chest. The prince shuddered, sensitive with the unknown magic pouring out of Merlin's fingertips.

Merlin almost didn't believe this was real. Just last week Arthur was kicking him for how insolent he was, albeit, there was a glimmer of amusement in the prince's eyes when he did so.

They kissed for what seemed to be hours, but it didn't feel long at all.

They sat there, again, in each other's (metaphorical) naked presences, enjoying each other's lips.

Because now they've exposed a secret that they share.

Merlin was the first to pull himself away, but he did so smiling.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that..."

Arthur grinned at this. The pit in his stomach burned brighter, but it was a glowing, pleasurable burn.

In truth, Arthur had always had a peculiar interest in his manservant. He was intrigued by him.

How could someone so clumsy, so irreverent, be so completely enticing?

Arthur had realized his more-than-platonic attraction for his friend, only a week or two after knowing him. He buried it. Recently, it seemed to resurface into something much stronger.

Arthur knew that even if Merlin felt the same, he would never truly get to be with him.  
He had heard of lords and masters preferring the company of men to women, but never in marriage. It simply wasn't practical. Especially with a man of his class.

Eventually, he would need an heir. And it wasn't as though Merlin could somehow magically conjure one up.

Arthur felt the burning die with that thought.  
Merlin saw his face grow cold.

Arthur had given in to his own temptations. He was ashamed at himself, for putting his interests in front of Camelot's.

Merlin noticed this.  
"What is it, Arthur?"

"Merlin..." Arthur's expression grew hard as he looked into Merlin's eyes, "I can't do this."

Merlin's stomach dropped.

 _Had he not wanted to 'do this' just moments ago?_  
Had he done something to change Arthur's mind?

"Have I done something?" Merlin offered.

"No. It has nothing to do with you." Arthur looked sadly at Merlin. He desperately wanted to kiss him again but he knew that that would make things even worse.

Merlin's face was pale, or, paler than usual at this sudden rejection. His eyes were somehow bluer. His lips, redder. He just looked different than usual. In fact, tonight, Merlin looked brutally alive.

Finally, after a long pause Merlin spoke up.  
"Perhaps if you weren't a prince...?"

Arthur knew that this might be the last time he would ever get a chance truly express how he felt.

"If I weren't a prince," he put his hand on Merlin's neck, cupping his jaw, "I would show you the world."


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days were somewhat awkward for the two. It was quite heartbreaking.  
Merlin didn't know how to go back to the way things were.

Occasionally, Arthur would flash him a polite half smile upon passing him in the halls, and Merlin would end up thinking about it for the rest of the day.

At one point, Merlin, after preparing his prince a bath, turned and witnessed Arthur removing his clothes.

This was nothing remarkable before, however now something had changed.

That initial nakedness that had once brought them together, (now quite literal) had returned.

Now, when Arthur took off his shirt, Merlin saw the lean muscles shift, and the tan hue of his skin, and all of the little white lines left over from years of battle scars. It was all beautiful to him.

Merlin sometimes felt sick with longing for him. He never before thought it possible that Arthur would even enjoy his company as Merlin enjoyed his. But that door had been slammed shut just as quickly as it had been allowed to open.

Now there was a deep sexual tension. They both felt it.

Initially, it took all of Arthur's strength to not entertain the idea of kissing Merlin or perhaps doing with him other things.

After a week, it had gotten easier. Although he would be lying if Arthur said that he didn't lie awake with remorse for that night, wandering if he made the right decision.

And Merlin swore sometimes that he felt that same stare from Samhain on him, and felt that same buzzing across his body. He wanted so badly to feel like he did that night.

It crossed Merlin's mind less and less as time went on. But nonetheless, it never strayed too far from his thoughts.

It returned to him as he was folding his highness's shirts while Arthur was in the banquet hall, eating his dinner. Merlin hated that they smelled like Arthur. He hated that they were avoiding each other.

There was a soft knock at the door, then immediately the door was opened.

"Why did you knock when entering your own room?" Merlin smirked when he saw who stood in the doorway.

Arthur looked as if he hadn't heard the question. He seemed preoccupied with other things until he muttered, "you never know who'll be snooping around inside."  
Arthur plopped down lazily on his own bed as Merlin was finishing up.  
Merlin brought a night shirt over to the prince and laid it neatly on the bed next to where he was laying.

There was a very serious air in the room. Merlin could tell that Something had happened. Even with everything that had happened between them, Arthur was never so aggravated.

"Do you want me to leave?" Merlin offered standing over him, remembering the last time they'd had even this much interaction.

Arthur gazed at him with a thoughtful look.  
In one quick motion, he grabbed Merlin's wrist and tugged him closer. Merlin, being the clumsy oaf he is, tripped over his own feet in astonishment, and nearly fell on top of the reclining prince.

From then all the pieces fell into place.  
Their lips collided with fervor, to Merlin's surprise. He was happy, but he didn't smile. He felt Arthur's anguish.

They kissed softly at first, then with passion. Arthur swung his arms around Merlins neck and pulled him in deeper.

Merlin found himself embraced completely.

He could feel Arthur's anger as he hungrily kissed him.

"Arthur-" Merlin tried to spit out, but Arthur kept kissing him in the hopes of his silence, "what's- what's happened?"

"God, won't you just shut up and let me enjoy your company?" He said it and smiled with his usual arrogance.  
Arthur brushed his thumb over Merlin's bottom lip.

Merlin knew he shouldn't push it now. Arthur was tough to crack, and this moment was so completely perfect otherwise, he just wanted to let it be for a while. He felt the prince's chest rising and falling under him.

Merlin tore off his shirt and neckerchief. He wanted to feel so much closer to Arthur.

He kissed Arthur's lips and then moved to his jaw. Arthur let out a heavy breath, and brought his strong arms around to hold him close.

One hand tangled itself in the dark locks, and the other raked its fingernails up his back.

Merlin could feel parts of Arthur growing somewhere underneath his body. The thought of Arthur becoming aroused at the prospect of him of all people was very arousing.

Merlin had been dreaming of this moment for a long time. Certainly the past few days had been interesting, although he never let his mind run too much farther than what was deemed inappropriate in this way... or at least he hadn't let himself think upon it as often as he would have liked.

He loved Arthur, far more than he was allowed to. He wanted to show him.

Merlin sunk down lower, scraping Arthur's neck with his teeth. Kissing and sucking as he had once seen when his friends had brought him to a whorehouse a year ago. Undoubtedly leaving what will be confusing bruises in the morning.

Merlin really was new to this game. He had only relatively recently decided that he didn't appreciate women in the same way he did men. Although he had not discovered this until after a heavy petting session with a village girl.

Merlin sunk farther south, which being on top, brought his rear end up. This prompted a hard smack on the ass and a mischievous smile from Arthur.

Merlin sat up, amused.  
In a very serious voice he said, " you shouldn't have done that."

"And why's that?" Arthur, challenging him.

Merlin didn't respond. Instead he straddled the prince. He moved his hips back slightly, and raised an entertained eyebrow.

Then, he grinded hard against Arthur's groin and navel. Arthur moaned louder than he meant to. With that Merlin leaned in so close that Arthur could feel his breath on his check and with a sneer he said, "That's why."

"Oh god," he huffed, "Again."

And Merlin obeyed.

Arthur woke up to a dozing Merlin draped over him.  
He felt himself smile, remembering the night before.  
Arthur rolled over to face him.

Merlin was snoring lightly. Arthur graced his face with the back of his knuckles. Merlin was still warm with sleep. He stirred at the touch. Arthur again smiled.

Merlin's eyes opened, and looked over Arthur and closed again. The edges crinkled as he grinned.

Worried thoughts of the future bubbled up again. Arthur couldn't help it. He pushed them back down. He would have to learn how do things out of his own interest occasionally.

"What did you do that night after Samhain?" Arthur asked.

Merlin shut his eyes confusedly and stretched. "What do you mean?" He mumbled.

"That night you... you did something. I can't describe it."

Merlin froze, remembering. He knew exactly what Arthur was referring to. That was the night his magic was unchained.

The buzzing.

_Had Arthur felt it too?_

Merlin didn't know what to say. Should he come out with his secret or should he keep quiet for what might be the rest of his life.

Neither option seemed like the right one.  
Merlin propped his torso up on his elbows and leaned over the prince. "Have you ever considered the fact that maybe I'm just that good?"

Arthur smiled yet again. It was one of those famous grins that seemed to make the room brighter. "Can't say that I have."  
Merlin snickered, lowering himself and placed a chaste kiss onto Arthur's lips.

He hoped that this would suffice, although eventually, he thought, he would have to tell him.

If this were to go any farther, Arthur would have to know.  
Merlin could only imagine the horror on his face. Gods, he thought, I hope he can forgive me.  
Part of him thought it easier for him to never know. But could he keep it from Arthur forever? He pushed the thought away.

Merlin pulled back slightly, licking his lips from the dryness. He then shot up realizing what time it must be.  
"Bugger" he muttered to himself.

From the comfort of his bed, Arthur watched Merlin frantically collect his previously discarded clothes with amusement.

The prince realized that he enjoyed the way that Merlin moved. Awkward, and clumsy. There was something incredibly endearing about it.

Once Merlin had messily dressed, he grabbed the door, about to close it on his way out when he snuck another lusty glance at the lazy blond. Merlin's eyes briefly flickering over Arthur's idle body, then returning to meet his gaze with a cheeky grin.

Finally, the door swung shut, and Arthur was left alone with nothing but last night's memories and a comfortable burning in his gut.

He smiled to himself.

He couldn't help it.

Once in the hall, Merlin had to stop for a second. He could feel his cheeks burn red.  
He was completely astonished that Arthur would pick him of all people to have a love affair with.

Had he just imagined the whole thi-  
"Oh, good morning Merlin," Giaus while strolling up to him, interrupting his crisis. "I noticed that you haven't been to your room in a few days. I may turn it into my own sort of library if you no longer have any need if it."

The old man's wise eyes flicker downwards. "I see that you still havent learned to properly dress yourself." Merlin looked down and noticed that the heavy seams of his shirt which were generally not worn on the outside of one's clothing were, in fact, protruding on the wrong side of the fabric.

"...I trust you have someone helping you with that." Giaus smiled knowingly, chuckling to himself. He patted Merlin on the shoulder before hobbling down the hall.

If it were possible, Merlin's face grew a shade redder. He wanted to laugh out of nervousness. Instead, he just closed his mouth, not realizing he was gaping.

Merlin returned to his room and promptly had a wash. He didn't have much time before he was expected to perform his morning duties, like, for example, waking the prince. Well, he'd already done that.  
The graphic details of the previous night flooded back to him. The more he thought about it, the more he smiled.

Sweetness, he thought, the night started sorely but I had turned it into sweetness.

He caught his reflection in the small mirror as he was drying off.

He looked different somehow.

It seemed to Merlin that today his eyes were brighter and his expression was surer of itself than it ever had been before.  
He looked to himself to be stronger.

Arthur had taken his chastity as well as his virginity. And Merlin gladly gave it to him with sweetness.

It then occurred to Merlin that perhaps Arthur had sought only to find the nearest warm body to seek comfort in. This left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He came up with a hundred excuses as to why this could never be the case, but there always remained that small seed of doubt.

Even in the coming weeks when they continued to see each other more so than they had previously.

Arthur had twice arranged a small intimate dinner in his chambers with only Merlin as company.

When the knights would infiltrate the pubs, Merlin now, with a royal invitation, tagged along and Arthur seemed to never be more than three feet away from him at all times.  
Occasionally, when Gwain would recount one of his heroic tales, Arthur would sneak a loving glance towards him.

And Merlin, of course, beamed at him any chance he got. It was during this time that Merlin realized that Arthur had changed too. Not just towards him, but everyone.

Every interaction seemed less rough, less hard than it had been. Arthur was still very deliberate in his manner, but there was something very different about him.

He laughed more.

Merlin loved how his eyes would crinkle around the edges when he let out a deep throaty laugh. He loved how his nose was curved slightly in profile. He loved the way his expression changed when he fired an openly playful insult at one of the knights.

Merlin had never seen Arthur this way. Maybe Arthur had truly changed or maybe Merlin just hadn't really looked.

Either way, his heart soared, and his bones leapt when Arthur looked at him.

Arthur was beside himself. All of his thoughts and feelings this past week had been dedicated to Merlin.

He felt that the whole situation was somewhat ludicrous. A lord having his servant was far from uncommon. Although most times it was a chambermaid. However, this felt different to him. It felt more real than anything that Arthur had had before.

Previously, maids would allow him the pleasure simply because he was the prince or perhaps because he was handsome. They never specified.

That always just felt like a quick shag with no sort of future commitment. He rarely thought about those women after they had left his chambers.

Now, Merlin was the first name on his lips in the morning and this morning was no different. But when there was a meek knock on the door, and Arthur sat up, his was not the first face he saw.

It was the mousy blonde boy from before.  
Arthur was perplexed. Nonetheless he did not ask about the whereabouts of his proper manservant.  
The boy sat his breakfast down on the desk and left at the "that is all," issued by Arthur.  
Come to think about it, Arthur hadn't seen Merlin in nearly a whole day. He had just assumed that with the new found interest, Merlin had some work somewhere to catch up on.

Arthur glanced up into the mirror on his desk. He laughed audibly at the current state of his hair, and smoothed it down as he liked it.

The morning passed slowly as he had no one to share it with.

There was not a single hint of his friend anywhere. Not in the armory which he usually mulled about while Arthur was training his men, not in the stables mucking out the manure. He had simply vanished.

Sir Percival even asked about his absence once during a break in morning training.  
Arthur begun to worry.

The poor idiot probably got lost.  
He smirked to himself. _He'll show up. He always does._

He didn't.

Arthur marched down to Giaus's quarters.

"Giaus, have you seen my manservant? He was supposed to fetch my breakfast hours ago."

The old man looked shocked, "they haven't told you? The king relieved him of his duties. Well- relieved him of his duties is a kind way to put it-"

"What ?! When did this happen?"

"It was yesterday, my liege. The boy's moved out already."

Arthur's face grew red in anger and his brows knitted themselves together. Giaus had never seen the prince like this. No one had.

Wordlessly, he left to seek his father who was no doubt the cause of this.

Arthur flung open the doors to the banquet hall where his father was sitting on his throne, talking to a small group of advisors.  
Upon the arrival of his enraged son, Uther shood away the committee in anticipation of the yelling match that was about to ensue.

"For what possible purpose did you dismiss my manservant?!"  
Arthur asked surprisingly calm for his appearance.

"Arthur, the boy was shirking his responsibilities as well as being a distraction to you. It was only logical to bar him from employment in this castle."

"Bar him?! He's been nothing but good help in the year that he's worked for me."

"Well recently he's proven to be unreliable. In the last week alone, he's been late three times to his morning duties. He is too familiar with noblemen and frequents pubs far too often."

"I hardly think having a drink is a crime, father."

"It is when doing so in place of responsibilities. You've spent far too much time with the boy, I see that you're starting to ignore your duties as well. This could have only gotten worse from here. I feel as though this is something you could learn from, Arthur."

As if to make it worse Uther added, "No crowned prince can gain the respect of his people, if he does not execute his duties with authority. So far you have shown yourself to be lazy, an I will not be having that."

Arthur clenched his fist so tightly that later he would find the markings of where his fingernails had dug into his palm.

"I can't even express to you how wrong you are." He said quietly.

Uther started to say something but Arthur didn't hear him. He turned his back and made his way for the hall.

_I will find Merlin and I will bring him home to me..._


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin was shivering and heartbroken.

The sun was setting, and the forest was cold and growing colder by the hour.

He was only mostly sure that he knew the way to Ealdor without a map.  
He had to keep his mind busy. If he thought about the cold, he grew colder.  
It was even worse that his mind left him only with the memories of the past few days on repeat.

He wished he could've talked to Arthur, or at least said goodbye, but the truth is that he barely got to say goodbye to Giaus before the Guards came to see that he left.

Merlin thought about his last conversation with Giaus.  
It replayed constantly in his head as he walked down the narrow path.

Giaus had been furious and confused. "Merlin, the crowned prince of Camelot?! Here I was believing that some chambermaid let you into her bed, but instead you went for the most dangerous option. Are you completely mad? Your only task was to keep your head down and to not be too noticeable and since then you've become a servant to the man who would execute you, been thrown in the stocks on multiple occasions and most recently spent the night with his son, doing only god knows what."

Merlin assumed that Giaus had simply figured it out on his own and not been told. Or at least he hoped this was the case. Merlin could only imagine if word got out as to the extent that he and Arthur had reached.  
Uther would have (literally) had his head.  
He supposed that the fact that he was alive meant that Uther was unaware.

"You do know how much more careful you have to be because of this incident, right? Even if they ever do allow you back into this castle, you cannot see Arthur again. They will watch you like hawks, and your magic? You must find a way to stop yourself from using it at all. I dare say that in your new closeness or whatever term you want to use, Arthur might be the first to report you, not to mention how betrayed he'd feel... unless of course he knows already in which case you really are daft."

It was then that the guards came in.

The terms of his banishment extended as far as the castle walls, meaning that he could've resided in the lower districts of Camelot. Gwen even offered him a bed for a little while until he could get his own, however, he had declined.

As much as he loved Gwen and his other friends, he knew that without Arthur, he had no true reason for staying.

Merlin's thoughts turned back to that night. The first night, when Arthur came back angry.

Part of him wished that Arthur had remained angry. Or better yet during that night of Samhain, if Gwen and him had exited minutes later than they had, then perhaps none of this would have happened.

_What if none of it were meant to happen? What if I had just seemed like the best option at the time? What if he doesn't feel for me what I feel for him?_

He couldn't help but get a little misty eyed at the thought. He forced himself to think upon the good times.

Merlin missed Arthur's hands on him. Somehow gentle and hungry at the same time. They lusty way that Arthur hesitated to kiss him as long as he could have just one last glance.

Merlin cherished the moments they never spoke of. They couldn't.

He didn't even know what to call their relationship. Were they lovers? Remaining friends? He couldn't very well ask. So he just didn't call it anything.

Paleness started to fill the sky. The path got dimmer.

He heard horses.

In the day and a half since he'd set out, he hadn't seen a single other human being.

Merlin decided to duck in the shrub nearby just incase of robbers.  
As the stamping grew louder, he realized it was only one horse, and later still he realized it carried only one rider.

The rider passed in a streak of gold.

Merlin hastily stepped out into the lane.

He let out a loud desperate yell, "Arthur!"

The lone rider turned his head and pulled the reigns. The horse halted as if time had slowed.

Merlin smiled at the sight of the prince approaching him. How graceful he seemed.

The beautiful horse stopped in front if him.  
"Arthur!" Merlin gleamed.  
The prince smiled.  
"Why did you come back?"

Arthur snorted.  
"Did you honestly think I wouldn't?"

Arthur grinned at him. Merlin returned the smile, but it soon faded as he spoke up.  
"... I can't come back with you."

"Of course you can. C'mon." Arthur extended his hand to help Merlin up.

"Arthur, I'm banned from the castle."

"Yes, we'll discuss that now come on."

"No- they'll kill me! You heard your father!"

"No they won't." Arthur said confidently, "I won't allow it."

After a moment of silence, "Fine, I'll take you somewhere else then."

Merlin glanced at his outstretched hand and hesitantly took it.  
With a grunt, he was pulled up onto the magnificent beast.

"Where are we going then?" Merlin settled in.

"The castle."  
Merlin sighed and Arthur kicked the horse into action.

He stiffly wrapped his arms around the prince to stay balanced. Niether spoke a word.  
All he could see was blonde, and all he could smell was Arthur Pendragon; the scent he'd missed so briefly.

In a moment of boldness, Merlin laid a kiss on Arthur's neck. Merlin could feel the Prince smile, the soothing burn returned in his stomach as Arthur's warm hand clasped his own if only for a moment.

Suddenly Merlin was not so cold anymore.

By the time they returned, it must have been the small hours of the morning.

They got up to Arthur's chambers. Merlin stood awkwardly in the door frame as Arthur set one of his bags down.  
Merlin had an uneasy look on his face.  
"This was a mistake," he whispered. "I shouldn't be here. They dont want me here."

Arthur sighed.  
"Don't be an idiot." The prince grabbed his wrist and lead him inside. "I want you here."

"Arthur, I dont want to be thrown in the dungeon because you want a shag."

His cold lunch was sitting on his table, still untouched.

In fact, the room was a mess. There were clothes strewn about, and the bed was unmade.

He must've left in a hurry this morning.

Arthur leaned in and whispered, "there is so much more I want from you than a shag."

Merlin's face flushed at this, and his vague arousal was noted.

He put his hand on Merlin's shoulder and sat him down at the table. "Eat." Arthur commanded more sternly.

Merlin looked at the food in front of him.

"How did you know his Highness's royal scraps are my favorite?"

"Oh shut up. I have no doubt that its far better than anything you've had today."

He was right. All Merlin had eaten was a few slices of old bread and an apple. Even now he wasn't hungry. His stomach churned at the thought of what Uther will do to him when Arthur inevitably marches into the throne room tomorrow morning.

Merlin rubbed his eyes. He was tired but he knew he wouldn't sleep tonight. His head was pounding.

Arthur noticed that he wasn't eating. He understood the situation and was concerned, but was taking it upon himself to fix it. It had been his fault after all. It wasn't fair for Merlin to be sacked because Arthur got distracted.

"If you're not going to eat would you make yourself useful and light the hearth."  
Merlin looked over. It took him a minute to realize what he had said, he was so far into his worries.  
He got up and squatted over the fireplace with a flint and steel.

When Merlin finally got the wood to light he stood and was immediately met with Arthur's beautiful blue eyes. Merlin took a sharp inhale. The eyes stepped closer. The heat of his breath seemed far hotter than the fire, suddenly roaring, and warming his side.

They stood in very close proximity. The orange flicker danced together across the boys' faces, which made the ice of each eye glow brighter against the fire. With more life.  
Arthur raised a gentle hand to Merlin's face, completely enraptured by what he saw and felt.

He brushed a few strands of thick dark hair to the side to see his face better and then skimmed the calloused pad of his thumb against the sharp cheekbone of the man in front of him.

Merlin had never felt attractive. He didn't need to. No love had ever struck him nearly as deeply as this one had.

Previously he had simply considered himself a nonsexual being. Despite perhaps the occasional self-procured satisfactions of his youth. (Which seemed to recently begin occurring again.) Nonetheless he fancied no one until the age of twenty, and thus he did away with the notion that he was fit for no one and subsequently no one was fit for him.

Now was something very different. Now, he was unsure of himself. He was very thin and pale and Arthur certainly was not.

The idea that Arthur was actually interested in him seemed impossible. From any angle.  
This lead him to believe that Arthur truly just wanted to claim the nearest warm body, and that he didn't concern himself with the possible repercussions that this may lead to.

_Maybe he didn't want a bastard running around and that's why he sought after me and not some handmaid._

Even with his pessimism, Merlin knew that it couldn't possibly be convenience that drew Arthur to him. He did after all, ride from day break until long into the night to do nothing other than bring him home.

In fact, Merlin seemed like the very least convenient shag considering the wrath of Uther which must surely have been delivered upon the son.

It wasn't until this moment, in the dead of night, with the window open and billowing the silk curtains which leapt from the wall. And the crackling hearth battling the frigid air.  
And the fact that none of that mattered when Arther Pendragon whispered so gently, so quietly, as if he hadn't meant to say it at all, it had just run up his throat and snuck past his lips, "look at you," as his thumb now graced Merlin's full lip. "You're beautiful."

And Merlin knew that he was earnest. Arthur would not be caught dead letting himself go like that unless he absolutely truly meant it.  
Merlin looked up upon him almost with tears in his eyes and the most dazzling smile.  
All doubts of himself and Arthur had vanished.

To love like this and to have the same love returned was something he'd never dreamed of.

He grasped Arthur's wrist, the hand that held him dearly as he kissed the thumb that had caressed him.

Such warmth.

Arthur was radiant.

He had this far away look about him, yet he seemed completely focused.  
It was as though he couldn't imagine himself being here, in the way that he was, with this man standing there in front of him; melting into his touch. He wanted to cherish every second.

He didn't know how many more he would have...

Arthur's hand on Merlin's skin awakened something within him.

He felt all sorts of energy he had never before harnessed, flowing through and around him.

It was louder than Samhain, and somehow more focused.

The light cast an alluring sort of shadow on Arthur's face. It seemed to give him another dimension, a firm softness.

Merlin moved first and guided Arthur's hand to the hem of his tunic, where he slowly removed it.

It was moments before Arthur even lowered his gaze below Merlin's neck, for he had not been done drinking in the sharp features of his face.

Merlin could hardly wait for Arthur's rather long examination to end. He stepped forward and kissed him.

It quickly turned passionate, even hungry, when Merlin started biting Arthur's lip. Trying not to smile as he did so, due to the evident arousal of his lover.

He fumbled pulling Arthur's shirt over his head, mussing his hair in the process.  
The two laughed for a second, at the sheer ludicrousy of the situation and crashed together grinning.

Now, with all formalities aside, the boys became rougher.

This was a different kind of intimate. A few degrees further than that of which they had shared that faithful night in the kitchen.

There was no meekness. No rules.

Merlin's finger brushed Arthur's nipple, which sent a chill down his spine with an audible intake of air.

This, of course, pleased Merlin to find a new erogenous zone. He started to twist.  
Arthur's face contorted into some sort of mixture between pain and pleasure, which was even more delicious when Merlin realized he was too flustered to do anything about it, until eventually he halfheartedly swatted Merlin's hand away.

"What, you don't like it when I fondle your chest like a girl?" Merlin cooed.

"No, I just don't like seeing you so proud of yourself when you do it."

Arthur began to untie the front of Merlin's trousers, occasionally kissing him in the process.

The boy was already pretty hard but when Arthur slipped his hand down the front end of his breeches he got significantly harder. His breath hitched.

"Mmm there it is." Arthur purred.

"Arthur-"

Merlin panted as Arthur wrapped his fingers around him.

He felt so good.

Arthur almost didn't want to make an effort to move this to the bed. He didn't want to change anything about this moment. (He might've preferred them to be just a little more naked but that would come in due time.)  
The way Merlin looked right now, that desperate need of him, was so incredibly captivating.

Merlin's hands grasped Arthur's shoulders for support. They were close enough so that Arthur could feel the sharp exasperated exhale of the other boy mere inches from his face.

Arthur pushed Merlin's trousers down further.

Merlin gazed at him dreamily, as if he was focused on too many things at one time; one of those perhaps being the crowned prince's hand stroking his cock.

Arthur watched in amazement at how easy it was to shut him up. He stopped his movement.

Merlin snapped back to reality.

"Oi, why'd you stop?! I was almost there!"

Arthur smiled and kissed him.  
"That's precisely why I stopped." He snickered. "I'm saving you for later."

Arthur snaked his hand around the back of Merlin's neck.

Merlin felt energy rushing through him. His heart pounded. He could feel his magic building up and pulsating. He didn't know how much longer he could hold it in.

It pooled into his fingertips, in fact he had to constantly fidget in order to not lose feeling in them altogether.

Arthur started to unlace his own breeches.  
Merlin was itching. He wanted to feel Arthur. He needed him.

He could hardly wait.  
He closed what little space was still between them.  
Merlin ran his hand down Arthur's chest and past his navel. He firmly grabbed his manhood, and a bit of pre-ejaculation immediately dribbled out of the tip of his head. Arthur moaned loudly, clearly taken aback by Merlin's suddenly evident expertise.

"Merlin, _yes!_ -"

Merlin smiled. He knew that Arthur wasn't loud for anyone else. He also knew that a lot of his current euphoria was due to his magic hitting him harder than he intended. Merlin was trying to hold it back as much as he could, but the truth is that it's as alive as he. And he had to admit, watching Arthur unravel this easily was tantalizing.

"And I thought you were saving me for later..." Merlin whispered.

"Shut up!" Arthur was obviously embarrassed and confused as to how little time it took him to get this riled up, 

"Touch me" he growled.


	5. Chapter 5

When Merlin awoke the next morning, sunlight was just starting to peak over the horizon and Arthur was already up pacing the floor.

It was early.

"Arthur, come back to bed." Merlin mumbled.

He didn't respond.

"Have you even slept?"

Arthur looked over at him. Merlin got his answer. His eyes were red and he wore an expression that badly concealed the worry on his face.

He knew why. Over the course of the next few hours Arthur would plea Merlin's case and Uther would reach some sort of verdict, which had the potential to end horribly.

That look on Arthur's face meant that he knew full well that this could be goodbye.

Merlin got out of bed.  
"Hey." He looked into his eyes, "What ever happens, it's going to be alright."  
Merlin brought his arms around the prince in effort to console him.

"Come back to bed." He tried again, softer.

Arthur conceded.

They slept another hour or two before they truly needed to get up and face the King.

When it was time Arthur threw the door open and marched into the throne room. Merlin meekly followed.

Immediately, Uther stood, "What is he doing here? Guards!"  
Two large men stepped in and grabbed Merlin's arms.

"I've brought him here." Arthur stood firmly.

"Arthur, the boy has been banished from this castle."

"Yes, that is the reason we've come to seek your attention. I beg you to reconsider."

Uther sat back down. Arthur didn't look at Merlin.

"The fault is mine. I was the one who distracted him from his duties with other meaningless tasks. He was doing what I ordered. I believe it is unjust to enforce the sentence that has been given to him. If anything, I am the one who should be given a sentence."

There was a brief silence.

"What would you have me do?"

"I'd have you reinstate him."

He thought upon this for a moment.

"With the knew knowledge that has been presented to me, I want you to double your training." Uther looked at him thoughtfully, "I will reinstate the boy, however he will be given other tasks and labor primarily in the kitchen. Cook could certainly use more hands. He will start this afternoon."

Arthur was relieved but could not help but feel a bit disappointed at the new order. He knew he shouldn't press further.

"Thank you." Arthur nodded and turned to leave.

He looked at Merlin and Merlin looked at him. He gave him a slight smile.

"And do not forget that Lord Gerrod and his young son will be visiting for a few days. They arrive in five days." Uther added.

It had totally slipped his mind.  
Lord Gerrod was a kind enough man, but his son, Tennysen, was a little monster.  
The young lord was scarcely thirteen and was often found sneaking through forbidden sections, talking in a very condescending manner, and just striking any nerve wherever he could.

He was a true nuisance.

Arthur was a little less than excited at the prospect of their arrival but he was glad for his father to have some sort of a distraction from this whole mess.

The next few days would be torturous.

Arthur thought it best for them to lay low, at least until the guests arrived. He new that little else would catch the watchful eye of Uther Pendragon. Arthur knew that he and Merlin were on some sort of probation.

Guards were now stationed in his hall at night, as if to reprimand any skulkers who were looking for a nightcap.

Any little slip up could land them in a world of hurt.  
However, now that Arthur had had a little taste of Merlin, he wanted more.

He wanted to be near him every moment. Arthur yearned for him. He sometimes would lie awake thinking about his hands on pale skin and that night when he gave himself over to everything he previously scoffed at in a nobleman.

Sometimes he would even pleasure himself thinking about it. Stifling hushed moans as he would touch himself, dreaming of only Merlin.

Occasionally, they would happen to pass each other in a lonely hallway (and by pass, of course, he would strategically plan it). Looking only ahead at the destination, Arthur would allow his hand to graze Merlin's and linger as long as he could before an onlooker could notice.

It was little things like these that kept him going.

Arthur welcomed Lord Gerrod and young Tennysen warmly, as Uther had wanted. Then the three adjourned to the banquet hall to talk about alliances, while Merlin was ordered to cater to the little lord's every whim.

In truth, his work over the last few days had not only been in the kitchens, seeing as there were many hours of the day when the royal family wasn't eating, he was asked to do a hodge podge of other tasks. Most of which, he discovered, happened to need tending to far away from wherever Arthur happened to be at that moment.

He truly felt the heat of Uther's gaze.

Even if he had tried to prepare some sort of meeting with Arthur, the likelihood of one or both of them being caught was great, which made things remarkably difficult. Granted, he was used to dealing with difficult. It felt like all of Camelot was watching the two of them.

Whenever he happened to cross paths with the prince, he felt himself go tense, _what if someone had been watching?_ Could he handle being cast out again? Or worse?

Arthur and he had not spoken in five days.  
He hated himself for allowing this whole mess to happen. Or perhaps he hated that he allowed himself to feel this way about the only human being who wasn't allowed to feel it back.

Giaus seemed to be happy when he returned. Neither spoke of the current situation, but he could feel the physician's amazed doubtfulness.

Now, he was plagued with the task of amusing a snotty thirteen year old, who wanted to see every inch of the castle.

Merlin showed him the library first in the hopes that it would hold his attention for a while.

It didn't.

_So if the kid isn't a scholar among other things, that must mean he's a complete idiot._

He decided to take him to the only place where all of Camelot's dumbest folk liked to congregate.

_The armory._

Sure enough, Tennysen just had to try on all of the helmets and test all of the swords. He gleefully went from one to another, pretending to know something about the metals they were made out of.  
After what had to be hours, it got dark and Merlin showed him to his room.

He drew the young lord a bath, and prepared his night clothes.

"If you need anything, your father is in the next room or there's a guard down the hall." Merlin nodded to himself and quickly left.

He returned to his own room for a quick bath, the kitchen for some supplies, and then he quietly left the castle.

In order to avoid the newly stationed guards, Merlin had to walk a half hour out his way and jump a low wall. He finally passed the castle gates, he walked a little further with his basket in hand until he reached the apple orchard near the pond.

He scoped out a nice patch of grass under a tree and laid out the food he brought.  
The sky was getting darker, but one could still make out the details of the area surrounding when trying.  
Luckily, he had brought a lantern.

Merlin started to munch on a slice of bread when he heard a stick crack.

Someone was approaching.

Arthur wandered out into the clearing.  
Or at least it looked like Arthur.

"Oh, you meant this orchard. I thought you were speaking of the other." Arthur said with his usual arrogance.

"There's only one near Camelot."

"That's the joke, idiot."  
Arthur walked up to him, a little closer than expected, shoving him up against the tree, and kissed him.

"Now, what have you brought me."

Merlin kissed him once more and smiled, "I've got some grapes you can feed me."

Arthur let out an exaggerated "ha-ha."  
Merlin mirrored his sarcasm.

"I've also brought cake."

"Well thank god for that."

But in truth, Arthur didn't care so much about the food, he just wanted to ravish Merlin while he could.  
It had been the first time in a week they had directly spoken to each other and he missed the sound of his voice.  
At one instance during the week, while he was lying in bed, it struck Arthur just how much Merlin occupied his thoughts.

It started to worry him.

_Had he truly become a distraction?_

He had been brutally independent before he allowed himself to get attached, but now he craved the touch of his manservant.

Maybe this brief time apart was a good thing, as hard as it may be.

But that had passed for now. Arthur just wanted to think about what was happening then and there and nothing else.

He kissed him.

It was passionate at first, but as he pulled away and gazed sleepily at the gorgeous pale boy in front of him, Arthur realized that he wanted to last as long as possible.

He wanted to let all of this last as long as possible.

Merlin came closer, wanting another, but Arthur drew back only slightly, waiting. Their faces, close enough to feel the hot breath of the other.

There was a chill in the air but they hardly took notice.

Arthur looked over him. His eyes seemed to land on his bite-stained lips. They were beautiful, even in the moonlight.

There was a sharp crack. They both heard it. Both heads whipped around towards the sound.

Something large had just fallen from the branches of the tree.

Arthur leapt to his feet but Merlin recognized him first.

It was Tennysen.

The boy looked up in fear of not only getting caught but also falling bum first into the Crowned Prince's biggest secret.

He must've followed Merlin all the way from his bed chambers.

Instinctually Merlin raised a palm from his position a few yards away. He shouted something Arthur didn't understand. Energy sprung from his fingertips and zapped the young lord.

It all happened so fast.

Tennysen fell backwards, unconscious. After a minute, his chest was slowly rising and falling.

Merlin felt a gnawing, aching pain. He slowly realized what he had done. He looked over Arthur, who glared at him in horror.

He sat, eyes wide, brows furrowed, with his back braced against the tree. He said nothing. He probably couldn't if he wanted to.

Arthur, careful to not turn his back to Merlin, staggered closer to the boy to check his health. 

Merlin's heart sagged. He wanted to cry. He wanted to make it better. But he didn't think he would ever forget that look of disgust and rage and hurt that was splattered across Arthur's face.

"Arthur, I-" Merlin stammered, "he's only sleeping, he won't remember anything tomorrow, he just needs rest."

Arthur checked his pulse. After a minute he picked the up child, his legs hanging over one arm, and his neck and shoulders supported in the other.  
His limbs swung limp.

"What have you done to him?!" He screamed.

Merlin was choking back tears.  
"I just- I"

"Was this your plan all along?! To use your magic to... to seduce me?!" Arthur's eyes were searching with anger and something else.

Then he screamed something that broke Merlin's heart. "Did...did you make me this way?!"

"Please, Arthur- no! I could never!" Merlin stammered.

Arthur breathed heavily in frustration, he was trying to calm himself down.

Merlin had never seen him like this. So completely enraged that he seemed blind to reason.

It shook him.

Now, there was some notion within Arthur that Merlin had magically instilled a lack of taste for women.

Arthur held the boy and started to walk off before leaving sharp parting words, "I suggest you be gone by morning, before you get yourself executed."

He couldn't even look at Merlin.

The prince stomped towards the front gate.

Merlin fell to his hands and knees. He couldn't breathe. It felt like the clean air had been sucked right out of the Earth an all that was left was biting wind.

He felt warm tears stain his cheeks.  
How could he be so stupid?

He lost his only friend. Although lost might've been too kind a word.

Once Arthur found out the truth, he spat him out with more disgust than he'd ever seen on a human being.

He had defiled the prophecy. He had nothing left.

Through the woods, there were two guards that stood at attention on either side of the wrought iron gate.  
"Who goes there!" One of them barked. He then recognized the prince and scrambled to open the gate.

Arthur stopped in front of him, young lord in hands.  
"If word of this gets out to anyone, I'll know exactly who to come for first." He growled and stalked off into the night.

Arthur hadn't really slept since that night and it had caught up to him. Part of him wished Lord Tennysen woke up the morning after with full memory of the incident, that at least might've given Arthur some closure. Instead, he awoke as Merlin had said he would, as though nothing had happened.

This, of course, confirmed not only that his lover had been in fact a sorcerer all this time, but that he knew how to harness his power.

The whole thing made Arthur want to scream.

It felt as though in one careless impulse Merlin had exposed himself and his motives. Clearly his objectives were malicious because he had not offered the fact that he had magic, when they had spoken frankly about the topic and Arthur had explained his stance and disgust at the prospect of magic being wholy evil.

If he truly trusted Arthur and had no intentions of hurting him, this would have been an easy enough thing to confide in him, especially with the intimacy they had reached within their relationship.

However, this was not the case.

Arthur thought back on all of the things he had said to Merlin, which he would gladly take back if he could.

He rubbed his eyes at the thought. His feelings of remorse for the relationship were largely being over shadowed by the feelings self-hatred.

Arthur vowed to himself that he would never again make the mistake of allowing someone get that close to him. He has too much to lose. There were too many lives at stake.

It had been three days since the incident, and people were starting to take notice of his difference. There had not been a word or even a glimpse of his former manservant.

Despite the small obstacle of his insomnia, he allowed himself to get lost in his work. It was the only productive way to push all of this out of his mind and move on. He trained harder than he ever had before. He started entertaining war strategies that were previously lost on him. Unfortunately, the idleness of night did not allow this kind of distraction.

Most nights he felt the need to get out of bed instead of lying there uselessly while sleep would not come to him. This often brought his mind to that very first night in the kitchen. Then he would wonder if Merlin had somehow planned that, somehow whispered in his ear, convincing him to get food.

Arthur thought about how every sweet memory of the last few weeks could have been poisoned by magic.

One evening after dinner, Morgana summoned him into her chamber for a glass of wine. The prince knew he would catch hell if he refused.

He knocked on the large wooden door.

"Enter."

She was sitting innocently on a seat next to the burning hearth with a half filled goblet in her hand.

"I hope you don't mind, I started without you."

Arthur said nothing. He sat down in the seat positioned next to her. His glass awaited him on a table set in between.

"What is this about, Morgana."

"What do you think this is about?" She looked at him with calm eyes. Her pale face was already twinged with red from drink.

Again, he didn't respond. She gazed thoughtfully at him.

"Gwen and I talk often. I know it's unnecessary... but, I see her as a dear friend more so than a chambermaid," Morgana continued, "most recently, I've learned that your manservant has been residing in her quarters. Actually, I've heard of little else." She took a drink.

Arthur looked into his goblet, not really wanting to drink, but wanting to forget this conversation before it had even concluded.

"What of it?"

Morgana was surprised at this response.

"I just find it interesting how after all these weeks with an Arthur I'd never seen before, someone who laughs and is happy, can all of the sudden change in such a polar manner. The events line up with Merlin's absence, so correct me if I'm wrong, but there seems some sort of connection."

"You don't know anything about it, Morgana." He hissed.

"Yes, I do believe that is the reason for my inquiry."

The last thing Arthur wanted to do was to drudge up all of those memories that he had worked so hard to lay to rest.

"Yes, well... I no longer require his services."

But maybe she would offer him solace instead of disgust.

She sat there, disappointed. "Well, if there ever is a point when you would like to talk about it, or anything at all, I'm ready to listen."

Neither one of them moved.

Finally, Arthur spoke. "I believe that he was attempting to take Camelot."

Morgana let out an audible laugh.

"I don't believe we are talking about the same Merlin," she calmed herself, "Arthur, your friend is hardly a mastermind. What could possibly lead you to believe this?"

"The boy has magic... and he knows how to use it."

Morgana had a serious look on her face. She lowered her glass to the table.

"Did he use it on you?"

"It's hard to tell... but he used on Tennysen."

She raised a hand to her mouth.

"He... he was spying on us in the woods, and he startled us, and Merlin made him sleep." Arthur unsurely glanced at her. He wanted to check that her expression was not that of revulsion. He was thankful that she did not even ask as to what his purpose was being in the woods. "He did not mean for me to find out this way, probably even at all. I suspect he was... charming me into submission..."

There was silence.

"Arthur, I'm sorry..." she reached out her hand in effort to console Arthur, but he shrugged it off. "I will say this once. I do not believe that the boy meant you any harm. I think that you should speak with him before condemning hi-"

"What good will that do?" Arthur stood abruptly. "Even if he manages to persuade me of his innocence, there will always be some part of me that has doubts."

He could tell that nothing more was being said, so he left.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin hadn't much felt like talking.

He was alone, and what's even worse was that it was all his fault. Every awful aspect of what had happened had been completely caused by him.

Perhaps if he exposed his magic sooner, Arthur wouldn't have reacted how he did. Perhaps if he had waited outside his guest's door, he wouldn't have snuck out. Perhaps--

It went on and on.

How could he have been so stupid?

Gwen would often ask him if he wanted to talk. To which he would shake his head or let out a small "no, I'm alright, thanks," with a sad smile.

Gwen was worried about him since she let him into her home. It's not like he sulked around all day. He would go out in the morning, before she woke up and do God knows what until he came home with ingredients and cook dinner. Gwen would also find the chores completed. She was grateful for his quiet quiet help, but he concerned her greatly.

After only a day or too, her distress exploded from her and she told Lady Morgana of her troubles, who in turn reported this to Arthur.

Merlin hadn't intended to stay Camelot, and he just needed a few days until he found somewhere else to live. More than anything he didn't want to go to Ealdor. Merlin didn't think that he could bear describing his situation to his mother.

All he had was Gwen, and even she couldn't be confided in. He had done so much wrong that he couldn't confess his guilt to even his closest friend.

He truly felt alone.

Merlin came back one afternoon to Gwen sitting anxiously at her kitchen table. He had not expected her to be home, and it shocked him even greater when Arthur stepped into the kitchen from the other room.

Merlin edged towards the door, "I'm leaving, I swear. You'll never see me again."

"Merlin, come sit down. It was him who arranged this meeting," Gwen stated calmly.

He swallowed, staring hard at Arthur, who had only days before, professed his underlying hatred for him.

Arthur wore a stern but nervous expression. His arms were crossed over his chest but not in a resentful manner, more so communicating focus.

He said nothing.

"I'll- I'll pour some tea," Gwen offered.

Merlin sat down. He felt trapped. Whatever would come next would surely be worse than execution.

Gwen sat down two piping mugs on the table and muttered as she was leaving, "Right then, I'll leave you to it."

Neither man spoke. Neither reached for his cup.

There was only dead air.

Arthur eventually cleared his throat "Right well, I believe we have some things to discuss."

Merlin scoffed.

"What could you possibly want to discuss? You've made yourself very clear."

In an instant, their eyes met and both felt a thrill of contact, and then both looked away. Merlin had convinced himself that he hadn't missed his friend. He knew initially this was untrue, but it was also far easier to work through when longing wasn't added to the bill. It was all impossible anyways.

They let it drop.

Arthur cleared his throat again.

"For a while, I thought that maybe your motive was to overthrow my reign. It seemed like the only explanation for keeping the secret that you kept for so long. And when I discovered the truth, as I clearly was never meant to, it felt as though you had never truly cared to tell me who you are. And, this is a pretty big part of you. I mean your magic, is clearly instinctual... I reacted badly, I apologize. But in that moment you were a stranger to me. Despite that I... I bore my heart to you in the way that I did." Arthur fiddled with his thumbs a bit, "I have been taught to treat strangers with kindness but also caution."

He paused, clearly trying to articulate his thoughts "Please excuse my-my frankness, but did you ever truly... care?"

Merlin's eyes went wide. Arthur was not an emotional person. He didn't allow himself to be.

"Of course I cared." Merlin whispered almost to himself.

He knew that at this point, he had nothing to lose. He didn't have to lie to himself or Arthur anymore. After all, the worst thing that Arthur would do at this point, is ask him to leave, which was his plan all along.

Merlin didn't understand the purpose of this meeting. He could've far more easily left it wordless.

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"How could I have? In this place? I had no idea what you would have done to me if I told you..."

"You know my stance on magic-"

"I know that you are not the king, not yet at least. I know you hold your duty to Camelot higher than anything else in this world. Otherwise, Samhain would have been a different. You left me then because you had to."

"And then I fucking came back!"

Arthur hadn't realized how heavy his breathing was.

"I am not my father. The second that I am able, I will make things better for your people. And that is a promise I made to myself long before I laid eyes on you," he tried to calm himself, "I disobeyed my duty for you, because I-" he exhaled sharply not making eye contact, "I found myself in love with you."

Merlin didn't know what to say. He thought that reciprocating that feeling was inappropriate at this time, but he desperately wanted to. He missed his friend. He wanted things to be as they were, but he didn't think that could ever truly happen.

"And maybe I still do..." Arthur started to get up to leave. He said everything had come to say, and it was clear that Merlin had nothing to add.

Merlin sat there dumbfounded.

It was all true. Arthur had gone against what he thought was right in order to pursue Merlin. Merlin, of all people! And Merlin could not do so little as to be honest with him, despite knowing Arthur's feelings on the matter.

He felt his eyes well up.

His only lover had just walked out the door.

His magic, in his fury, had come alive and now sought the warmth of his prince, which he had missed so much. Every bone in his body was urging him to follow Arthur.

So he did.

Epilogue

Merlin caught up with him as he was turning a corner in the lower district, headed back to the castle.

He placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder, urging him to turn around and meet him.

Merlin could think of nothing else to do but wrap his arms around him. Almost immediately, the prince followed suit, and the two just stood there embracing as people passed.

Merlin felt his throat clench with all of the things he wanted to say to him.

He couldn't even begin to articulate his gratitude for Arthur's understanding of his current situation, or for how embarrassing the exposure of his magic was.

Merlin fingers grasped tightly onto the back Arthur's tunic. He didn't want to let go.

Arthur loosened his arms, and stepped back, letting his hands rest on Merlin's arms.

"Come with me."

Merlin didn't say anything. He was still eaten by guilt.

"We can finish discussing this at a later date, but I want you to spend the night with me."

Arthur took his hand and lead him through the back alleys. He let go when they reached main roads, but he constantly cast a glance backwards to make sure Merlin was still behind him.

He was. He always was.

He kept his eyes downwards.

When they reached his chambers, Arthur poured them both a glass of wine.

Finally, Merlin spoke. "How can you just forgive me?"

Arthur didn't answer for a moment.

"There's really nothing to forgive."

After he said this, he tossed Merlin a small, sympathetic smile. Which he returned.

"I'm sorry." Merlin he squeaked anyway.

Arthur looked at him a moment and then offered with a great smile, "You know, I really can't get that 'French Toast' out of my mind. I believe I've been craving it since you left."

Merlin laughed. He took this joke as a sign that he was truly forgiven, despite that he had not quite forgiven himself. He set down his drink and moved closer to Arthur.

Merlin plucked his drink out of his hand.

"Hey, I wasn't finished with that!"

Merlin took a sip of Arthur's wine, put it down, and then carefully climbed onto him, straddling his lap. Arthur's hand fell around his waist, securing him in place.

He couldn't leave if he wanted to.

He let his face linger over the prince's, giving him time to refuse, as was his way, before he brushed their lips together.

Merlin tasted like sweet wine.

Arthur was gentle, not wanting to push anything due to the current uncertainty of their relationship.

Merlin opened his mouth slightly, inviting him in.

They kissed for a moment before Arthur stopped breathlessly.

"I want to see it."

They looked at each other for a moment.

"See what?" Merlin whispered.

"You. Your magic."

Merlin stared at him for a second, thinking.

He held Arthur's hand out in the close space between them. Arthur watched Merlin's eyes flash gold as a small burst of light erupted from his very own hand. He barely wanted to look down, and let himself leave Merlin's beautiful face.

A small dragon, seemingly made of embers leapt from his palm and flew, lighting their faces.

After a few minutes, it disappeared into smoke, and Merlin saw Arthur's eyes left with wonder. The wonder didn't fade as he looked back onto his friend's face.

He kissed him happily. Arthur's hands sunk lower to grip Merlin's thighs. Without warning, Arthur stood, still clasping onto Merlin, who made a surprised yelp, and carried him to his bed. Arthur threw him onto the mattress, perhaps with more force than intended. Merlin laughed at the impact as Arthur crawled over him, hoisting his lover's legs around his waist, as he looked upon him with lust.

Merlin reached his hand up to grace Arthur's cheek and leaned up to kiss him, biting at his lips, and doing every dastardly thing he could think to do.

Between kisses, Arthur panted, "I want to feel you."

Merlin smiled mischievously and his eyes lit gold as both of their shirts seemed to tug themselves off and fly into a heap on the floor. The rest of their clothes followed in time.

Arthur would be lying if he said that Merlin's magic wasn't incredibly arousing.

He could feel his magic seeping into his skin and rattling his bones and it was all completely thrilling.

He felt Merlin unfurl underneath him, when he pulled himself off.

Arthur lowered himself to the edge of the bed, as he pushed Merlin's legs apart, not leaving his eyes once. Merlin's already hard cock twitched at the thought of Arthur doing what he was about to do.

He carefully licked Merlin where he was preparing to enter, in the hopes that it would add some lubricant (and also make Merlin squirm, but that was a given). As he did so, he let his fingernails grip around Merlin's thighs, sending an electric thrill up his spine.

Merlin groaned with pleasure and began to touch himself. He was already so close, but he willed himself to keep it in.

Arthur carefully inserted himself, gazing with lust at Merlin.

He felt Merlin's magic's warmth all over his body, caressing and gripping impossibly.

Arthur leaned over, kissing Merlin's body where he could, and nipping at his neck as he started thrusting.

Merlin buried his slightly wet hands in the prince's hair and around his shoulders, as they rocked wildly together.

Their bodies, were pressed flush against each other in the hot and sticky mess they had gotten themselves into, but neither minded. They both felt the very much alive buzz of energy floating through and around them as they gripped each other.

This was like nothing else Arthur had experienced. It was simply other worldy, and in his mind he was already calculating how he could have Merlin like this again.

He was almost ready to propose to the wizard when Merlin emitted a euphoric moan and he felt hotness spill in-between them. With this, he felt his own bliss burst inside him and fill his whole body. Arthur thrusted one last time before holding, panting, and looking onto his lover in such bewildered amazement.

Merlin leant himself up to kiss Arthur and embrace him as he fell laughing and huffing onto him.

"That was the most brilliant thing I've ever taken part in." Arthur exhaled.

The two laid there long after their breathing slowed. Arthur, resting his head on Merlin's chest and Merlin running his fingers through Arthur's hair and down his shoulders.

He magicked them clean so that they didn't have to spoil such a beautiful moment.

This is what love looks like, Arthur thought.

He had never felt anything like it before.

"I'm in love with you." Merlin declared softly.

Arthur propped himself up to reach him, planted a kiss onto his lips.

He flashed the most brilliant smile.

"I've always loved you."


End file.
